Monday, February 6, 2017

Marrying Mr. Always Right

Planning a wedding is like pretty much a nightmare… The inherent issue is that it technically has to involve at least two people. If I could plan my own wedding independent of anyone else’s input I would be golden, but alas, I said “yes”.

So, like most couples, we have casually talked about how we envision our wedding from time to time, which is fun, exciting, you know butterflies about all the fun possibilities and amazing photo ops.

With the engagement, however, it all became a little too real. The stark contrast between Mark and my vision for the event was always kind of obscured by the fact that this was all just talk, the jarring bscured by somedays and what ifs. Not anymore.

We did take a year to live with each other and enjoy being engaged before officially wedding planning and my inevitable descent/devolution to Groomzilla. That was nice and all, but it was also a lot of time for us to develop polar opposite ideas of what this wedding would be like…let me explain.
You see, one of Mark’s fondest event or occasion related memory is his high school graduation party. Nothing wrong with that, right? Not in the theory but when I asked him what he liked so much about it and what he wanted to recreate I started to panic. This party was a backyard pig roast at his parents’ home in upstate New York, replete with folding tables, pop-up tents, paper napkins, and a few kegs of Labatt Blue. Fire pits, flip flopws, family and friends all around, it was lots of fun I am sure, but if you know me in the slightest you know that is NOT how I would ever imagine getting married (except for the fire pit, I am good with that).

So while Mark is happily describing his dream wedding scarfing down pulled pork and wearing shorts, I’m over here having a heart attack over the future of my dream tablescapes. I spent years working in hospitality, maintain a healthy obsession with interior design, and like any long-repressed gay boy have been planning my rustic-chic-gourmet-immersive wedding experience for years. I've already determined the color palette (Birch tones if you must know, it's seasonless and versatile), decided on a florist, started fantasizing about lighting, collecting decor accessories, and have been toying with the nuances of our custom gray suits for MONTHS...Needless to say, we have some compromise to make.

That’s the issue. As any one if his family or friends will tell you, Mark is a know it all. To the nth degree. Fortunately, he does usually know it all. His repository of facts and anecdotes across myriad subjects is nothing less than astounding. Unfortunately, that means he is almost never wrong and accordingly he has never had to develop the skill of compromise. There is rarely any give and take in our conversations, just presentation of cold, hard facts. His stubborn and steadfast adherence to logic absent of any feeling, is in direct contrast to my emotional and sensitive nature. Compound this with his narrow emotional range and lack of empathy, and you're pretty much dealing with Spock. 

Some people get to marry "The One" or find their "Prince Charming", I am marrying "Mr. Always Right", this is going to get interesting…